Why Your Relationship Will End In Tears
WHY YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL END IN TEARS
If you’ve been in a relationship for more than 5 months, I must congratulate you because in our present generation where people date for a week and call it quit, you’ve chosen to stay with the same person for more than 5 months despite the odds.
However, duration is not what’s important. We’ve heard stories of people in relationships for more than 2 years still ending up with a sad break-up.
Relationships don’t last anymore like they used to. People are experiencing heart-break by the second.
I know the last thing on your mind is a breakup. I know you love your partner and they mean the world to you.
But should I be honest with you?
It will end in tears… in premium hot tears. Yeah, I mean your relationship. And it’s not because I don’t like you or your partner. It’s not because I’m jealous of your relationship. I’m just stating the facts.
Look, i’m not here to scare you. I’m even here to help you. I want your relationship to last as looooong as it can and that’s why I’m here to share with you 8 reasons your relationship will end in premium tears so that you can work against them.
Here we go:
• you’re already thinking of the possibility of a breakup
• you don’t have a conflict resolution system/strategy
• you make assumptions rather than communicate
• third party syndrome
• there is no level of commitment in your relationship
• you see your partner finish
• you compare your partner and relationship to others.
• you guys are not just meant to be.
• YOU’RE ALREADY THINKING OF THE POSSIBILITY OF A BREAK-UP:
It is said that once you’re already thinking of break-up as an option, every problem in the relationship becomes harder to solve. Any small conflict and you want to call it quit, you don’t even want to find a solution.
• YOU DON’T HAVE A CONFLICT RESOLUTION SYSTEM/STRATEGY:
In other words, you don’t know how to settle arguments or conflict.
When your partner offends you, do you let them know immediately or do you withdraw and give them the silent treatment? How long does it take to settle an issue? Do you keep grudges or malice? Do you pretend everything is fine even when it isn’t? How do you react when your partner confronts you or corrects you?
It’s important to answer these questions because who knows, you could just be one argument away from a break-up.
• YOU MAKE ASSUMPTIONS RATHER THAN COMMUNICATE:
Overtime, we have established the importance of communication in relationship. Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
But what I might have to clarify is that communication goes far deeper than just speaking your mind most of the time, it also has to do with listening to your partner too. You also want to be careful of the way you express your mind.
Assumption is a relationship killer.
Rather than assume things about your partner or relationship, why don’t you ask questions and talk about it? It’ll save your relationship lot of heartaches.
• THIRD PARTY SYNDROME:
Aren’t most of us guilty of this? When our relationship suffers a little hitch, we run off to someone to complain to rather than wait in the relationship and settle things with our partner. We paint our partner bad and always act like the victim.
What’s more dangerous is that this person you tell your relationship problems to may not understand the whole story and therefore counsel you wrongly. It’s a dangerous route to ply and if you’re not careful, could lead to the end of your beautiful relationship.
I don’t even advice anyone in a serious relationship to have a best friend of the opposite sex because even if you guys have boundaries in place, life happens and those boundaries might come crashing anytime.
I advise you work at making your partner your ‘best-friend.’ It’s not easy but you can do it.
Trust me, you don’t need a third-party coming between you and your partner.
Note that if you’re in an abusive/toxic relationship, I advice you speak up and tell someone about it. Please don’t suffer in silence.
• THERE’S NO LEVEL OF COMMITMENT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP:
Most of us are in relationships for the sake of it and many of us have failed to understand what ‘commitment’ entails. We even see ‘commitment’ as a burden. We want all the benefits of being in a relationship without commitment.
Truth be told, relationship is hard work and beyond the tiktok, triller videos and dates, there’s a lot of sacrifices and compromises that goes on behind the scenes.
Love is a dynamics. One minute you’re so in love with your partner, the next minute, you’re not just feeling it.
Love is more than butterflies in your stomach. Love is more of a decision than a feeling. Understand that someone 10X better than your partner will come along and love means you’ll keep choosing your partner.
• YOU SEE YOUR PARTNER FINISH:
Mutual respect is a very important foundation for every successful relationship.
‘I’m sorry’ should always be included in your daily convo.
Don’t take your partner for granted.
Don’t ever feel entitled to any thing your partner does for you out of love. Always be grateful and appreciative.
Don’t look down on your partner, support them, look good for them.
Appreciate your partner.
Avoid ‘see finish’.
• YOU COMPARE YOUR PARTNER/RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS:
This is something we all do whether we are conscious of it or not.
Trust me, every beautiful relationship has a ‘behind the scenes’ that you don’t know about because they don’t show it and it’s not their fault, we all like to share only good things.
So, stop comparing your relationships with others.
And stop comparing your partner to your ex or to other people. If you feel there’s something you would love in your partner, tell them and help them achieve it.
Face your partner headlong and work towards making things better between the two of you guys.
• YOU GUYS ARE NOT JUST MEANT TO BE:
Let’s just be honest with ourselves, sometimes the relationship doesn’t just work out no matter hard you try. And you have to accept that. Stop feeling like you’re the one at fault. Sometimes it’s your partner- they just don’t love you anymore, they just lose interest in you and in the relationship.
Remember that it takes two people to make a relationship work. You don’t have to keep sticking your head in a relationship that is clearly leading nowhere.
Respect yourself. Accept that your partner is an asshole and move on. Someone better is surely coming along the way.